Joe Patrol
Joey Eyebank Ramone inspects another motley batch
of CDs
Pilots of the Sixth.
The first song starts with a very catchy twangy, trebled guitar riff
before launching into an original piece of music made by a group of
17 year olds. This tune half inches methods of singing and production
used by Mick Jones and Joe Strummer, while track 2 features a scarily
good impersonation of Pete Doherty. It's on track 3 then that The POTS
really find their own voice, combining QOTSA bluesy riffs with the Libertines
lyrical word play and a hint of the White Stripes fuzzy earlier stuff.
And I know this may cause a massive discussion on the message boards,
but I actually think The Pilots are better than the Artic Monkeys! 9/10
www.pilotsofthesixth.blogspot.com
The Martha Dump Truck Massacre
I admit they're good musicians but their music is something else! They
start with a loud out of tune violin and a dozy voice out of time, before
some handclaps join in in the background. I even thought the EP was
only 1 track seeing as all the songs sound exactly the same, and why
have they sent me a whole Martha Dump Truck biography with the cd? I
don't want to know the history of a boring band that I'd never heard
of before and wish I still hadn't. 2/10
www.themarthadumptruckmassacre.com
Napoleon lllrd - Dance to the Radio
Oh no!! Not one of those boring indie bands that NME spread thinly
all over their magazines covers! And as well as that, they have some
stupid marching army band in the background with cymbals, whiney girly
voices and trumpets! One of their songs is called "You Destroy
Music" but no, Napoleon lllrd, it is you who destroy music with
your crappy mix match of wannabe indie wailing and out of time beats
and trumpets. 2/10
www.napoleoniiird.com
Frightened Rabbit.- Music Now
Talk about frightening rabbits, this lot would probably frighten rabid
tigers at 100 paces with their fuzzy bad recording. But I shouldn't
be harsh, they're probably a bunch of students using home recording,
perhaps they recorded this track on their mobiles which were wedged
down a flushing toilet at the time. Maybe they have oodles of raging
talent and innate genius. Maybe they are the next Big Black. Maybe they
are indeed the sound of Music Now. Or maybe I'm talking rubbish. But
you just can't hear what the truth is through the poor recording. Note
to bands - don't submit stuff to review that doesn't do you justice.
5/10
Ascendia - (a bunch of e.p.s)
With powerful punky melodic, upbeat tunes this bunch of hormonal adrenaline
junkies kick the socks of Son of Dork (or Geek or Fishface or whatever
the hell they're called.) Ascendia are a very young band with what could
be a big future. Comparing their earlier stuff to the more recent recordings,
they have definitely improved musically and lyrically throughout their
mini rock life! Oi record company execs, stop wasting our time and your
money by signing bands like Busted, sign something as fresh and exciting
as Ascendia instead! 10/10
www.ascendia.co.uk
Whisky Cats - In This Chair
Despite sounding a bit like the music on the Sims computer game, this
is quite interesting and tuneful jazz. When you listen to this you can
just imagine a bunch of cats in a smoky lounge bar playing and smooching.
However, when you look at the photos of the real band members, they
look like something out of Bananas in Pyjamas. Which is a bit of a let
down
6/10
www.whiskycats.co.uk
Little Fish - Revolution ep
Although the lyrics are quite meaningful, the singer lacks the ability
to add them to any meaningful, ear-grabbing music. Making this dull
and dusty. Her voice is a mixture of Dido and K.T Tunstall with an acoustic
guitar flicking a few bland chords in the background. 4/10
Indiana Gregg - Something Like Me.
Another Avril Lavigne wannabe, combining Alanis Morrissete's calculated
integrity with one of those wimpy choruses that you'd find used by every
other commercial pop band. With empty lyrics about love and wishy-washy
marriages, this is best avoided like the washing up. 3/10
http://www.indianagregg.com
Biz - Stand By You
Music on Coca Cola adverts is always cheesy! And that's what this is,
an artist that did the songs for the Coke adverts [I thought that was
Jack White - Ed]. That would be quite a cool job though, making jingles
to advertise companies, but don't work for Coca Cola and then don't
make us buy the friggin things after we've already paid for them once
in the price of our sweet poison. And above all, don't try to hype your
cheery tunes songs into the charts! A mixture of Robbie Williams and
that annoying guy that sings "had a bad day". 4/10
www.bizisfab.co.uk
Joseph Arthur - Even Tho
"This year's best singer songwriter has arrived." Q.
How many other singers and bands have Q voted best of the year? As I
took this CD out of my review goodie bag I saw on the front cover a
morbid scribbled sketch that a depressed 13 year old would draw, while
the fold out booklet was full of praises from Q about Joseph Arthur.
The start of the track sounds like a familiar 80's pop song flowing
onto quite a catchy, original melodic tune; although it's quite a cool,
relaxing song, it's not really the type of music that most R*E*P*E*A*Tsters
would like. 5/10
www.josepharthur.com
The Gays - Fire to Feed
With a ridiculous name.
Llike The Gays you wouldn't be surprised if I told you they're crap.
And that's exactly what im gonna say
.. They're crap.
With repetitive machine noises and robotic voices, they make McFly
look like a rock band. [Steady on now Joey - Ed]
I think I'll feed the fire with their CD. -7/10
www.pinprick-records.com
Our Sleepwalking Hero
Although the singing and guitars are good, there are no drums in this,
which makes it hard to recognise the speed and also makes it very boring,
to my ears at least.
And I can understand why it's called out SLEEPwalking hero, as the
word sleep takes on a big role in their music, being its major attraction.
3/10
/www.myspace.com/oursleepwalkinghero
Misterhall - Akabusi is Dead, Long Live Akabus.
Quite a nice rocky tune but it's very common sounding and lacks any
real substance. Sounding a lot like Funeral For A Friend with that emo
feel, it's still not really the kind of music I would advise FFAF fans
to buy. 5/10
www.misterhall.co.uk (But
this site seems to have become one selling timeshares in holiday homes)
The Kitchen- Foreign Objects
Damaged Goods are the perfect example of an underground record label
with a fantastic back catalogue of pop-punk talent. In 1990, after they
saw the lovable mop tops Manic Street Preachers playing in a pub, they
put out the very excellent New Art Riot ep for them. Now the band can
re-pay the debt; whenever Damaged Goods looks like going bust, they
just re-release the ep.
Although the Kitchen do overdo the effects pedals, as if they've never
been let loose in a studio before, they continue the label's pedigree.
They are a sort of new wave electronic female fronted contraption, and
although this album was first released ages ago, look like being a band
with a lot of potential who should help the label re-coup yet more dosh.
Now does anyone know what release will be R*E*P*E*A*T Records' New
Art Riot? Answers on a postcard to the usual address please. 8 / 10
www.damagedgoods.co.uk
Sunshine- Victim Is Another Name For Lover.
I always thought that it was a good thing to have a bit of sunshine
in your life.
After listening to this I think id like a lot more darkness, at least
until Sunshine change their name!
A mix of Marilyn Manson styled vocals and stupidness and funky bass
and fuzzy riffs, with brain drilling dance beats and squeaky voices,
this music is ideal for giving you internal head damage... Aaahhh!!!
2/10
www.sunshinetrash.com/
Communication Error
This band obviously has a Communication Error with their inability to
make any sense in the lyrics. The brilliant brash guitar playing brings
life to the annoying drum machine and backing tracks, but there is also
a Communication Error with the radio they use. A mix of Sigur Ros and
Les Rhythm Digitals with a Funkadelic blues guitar. Interesting in parts
but more thought still needed. 3/10
www.myspace.com/communicationerror
Paisley Riot
This is quite a catchy, poppy, Western style ep, with good tunes and
nice guitar solos. However the singer has a habit of trying to sound
like a cowboy, which is somewhat annoying. Luckily the guitar parts
make up for this. 7/10
www.paisleyroit.co.uk
Things Found in Sharks
Fuzzed out Fender guitar riffs entwined with tuneful lyrics and catchy
bass lines, this is what I've hoped for all night rather that dismal
dance tracks. If you have read this review and are curious about the
band, then listen to the tracks 'So Hard So Far' and 'Everybody Floats'
which mixes metal with indie, making Snow Patrol look like the small
cuddly toothless moles they are. 9/10
www.thingsfoundinsharks.com
Stone Soul River- Terra Mama
Sounding like U.F.O or Black Sabbath smeared with the blood of a thousand
bearded folkies, cardigans flapping in the wind like white flags, this
band has made waves right across the stone soul river. From examining
the front cover of the CD, you would expect this to be a bunch of wimpy
hippies singing about hugging trees, but once you've pressed play it
pumps out of your stereo as loud and as fierce as a punked up gopher.
And it won't let go! 10/10
Ellenby - Run Away ep
A Cambridge folk festival band that has probably already played this
beard and cardigan institution. Either that, or they are just about
to. A mix match of instruments including guitar, drums, harmonica, piano
and bongos with a rather plain folky voice. 5/10
www.ellenby.co.uk
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