"Glad To See You Joe"

Yet more straight talking reviews from Joey Eyebank Ramone, R*E*P*E*A*T's newest and youngest reviewer.

PHYAL : Til It Hurts www.phyal.co.uk

Phyal are one of those bands that haven't got anything to sing about, so they sing about really depressing stuff such as wanting to die and being shot; they're so dull themselves so they sing about this sort of thing in an attempt to look more interesting. The audience Phyal aim at must be bored teenagers with greasy clumps of long hair and red pimples, who sit around in their rooms sucking glue-sticks and painting War Hammer, while their Mum persistently shouts "Teas Ready!"

Is the singer really a girl? And has she deliberately been made to sound like a man?

-5 / 10

McQueen : Running Out Of Things To Say www.mcqueenmusic.com

Hear that? McQueen are running out of things to say. That's why they include nothing lyrics such as "We were so drunk, we were so wasted".

Who cares if this band were produced by Joe Barresi from QOTSA, are heavily supported by XFM, have been play listed on Bruce Dickinson's (best rocker) Radio Six show and featured on 25 other alternative stations across the States? People these days are very gullible, otherwise how could Steps have ever been invented, and as they themselves boast, McQueen have nothing left to day.

3 / 10

Ironweed : Down To My Grave (Fat Northener)

If I recorded an electric drum kit, smashed a keyboard up then played it, sang in a Barry White voice with deadly dull lyrics while pinging a broken bell, you'd get Ironweed. The audience for this type of thing must be people at nightclubs who don't actually listen to the music but just dance for no reason.

3 / 10

The Warlocks : Surgery (Mute)

When I first saw the art work of this album, I thought I was in for a depressing, shouting, long haired group of druggies, but when I pressed play I heard a paralysed My Bloody Valentine crossed with The Killers, with a slouchy techno beat and trebled up guitars.

It's good, very good!

I imagine that the singer is in headlock mode with the drummer hunched over his low tom.

With the mighty Mute behind them, it's a shame that the recording is of such poor quality.

8 / 10 (You would have got full marks if not for the poor quality of the recording, silly people!)

Energica : My Demise (Scarlet Records)

All that this band sing (scream) about is people lying and being mean to them. But do you think that the band themselves are honest, nice people as they shout the words "Arsehole!" and "Shut your mouth or pucker up!"

I too would be horrible to them, as they don't have a clue what they're talking about.

The front cover has an image of a man in a hospital bed with a blood bag and a needle in his arm. What are they trying to prove? That exploiting people in hospital is an entertaining thing?

Cos it's not.

-1 / 10

The Composers : A Way Of Being Free

How romantic! The guy fell in love on a crowded Brixton smelly train!

Other reviewers of this feel that the singer has a romantic voice, but all I hear is an English womanising version of Frank Sinatra with a tabby cat tune in the background.

They sound like The Cure when they went weird crossed over with a Libertines vocal twang.

3 / 10

Simon Heartfield : Permanent Way (Hackpen Records)

Warning - TECHNO!!

This music reminds me of a visit I paid to a disco restaurant, where these people really filled up on weed were doing these crazy robot dances while falling on the floor now and again. That's the sort of audience this attracted by this music, as anyone not totally out of their head wouldn't be able to stand this annoying mix of inane beeps and repetitive drum beats.

1 / 10

Skippy and the Bellbottoms : What happened to Turn Signals? www.myspace.com/skippyandthebellbottoms

If you heard lot were called Skippy and the Bellbottoms, you'd never think they were a serious band with a brilliant guitarist. Instead you'd think they were suffering from a depressing breakdown, trying to re-live a messed up, missed out childhood with song titles such as 'Marshmallow Shoes'.

In fact, they are a serious folk band with serious lyrics, but personally I don't like their music!

It's constantly changing, the songs lack proper structure and in the first track there appears to be a zombie in the background mumbling into a microphone…

2 / 10

InMe : So You Know www.inmeonline.com

The best way to describe InMe is nu-metal spliced up with their own little concoction of groovy growls, and this is their best single to date.

It starts with a voice mimicking Sting of The Police, before erupting into distortion, smashing guitars, growly vocals, funky bass and a heavily destroyed drum kit.

I'm looking forward to hearing the album 'White Butterfly' too soon! Rosey, can you get me a copy?

8 / 10

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