Raping the stereo
Joey Eyebank returns with some more babbling adolescent filth

Charli xcx- !Franchesckaar!

With the murky, rather naïve scene of nu-rave tarts emerging or rather 'clinging' to music like the youngest child of a family craving attention by wearing bondage-like selections of "uber"-bright, inyourface clothing in random order (or infact none at all), disappointment is quickly painted over my sour face when I get a c.d to review with a mis-spelt title, rather lustrous photo of a girl with a somewhat cartoon appearance chewing a tacky gold chain

I fear that the stereo will be raped by some messy, babbling adolescent filth draped in messy synth-sex that some fickle, flippant magazine will coat over their changing pages AHEM, NME. But well the thing that makes this song more intriguing than a colourful noisy toy is the dance-chant, tongue in cheek lyrics combo which certainly will make you and clubs/gig venues be chanting out the lurid "Jack Wills" culture, taking a different perspective on the hideously expensive, poncy clothing chain.

There is also a Tapedeck remix (dance duo mixing-pioneers) and 2 more remixes from some twat called "Mr.Black", which nonetheless prove to be good tunes anyhow.

If you check out Charli xcx's more serious songs on her myspace- www.myspace.com/charlixcx you find that she has more talent than the image gives away, with not only catchy and textured dance tunes, but experimental twinges, and good singing with a unique style.

There is more than meets the eye here, which also is different to the whole 'nu-rave' scene; which mostly rely on 'the eye' to keep them in the spotlight.



Brigade- Sink, Sink, Swim//Stunning

A few years ago I saw Brigade supporting InMe on their 'Punishment Tour'. Their set was bearable, mainly down to the fact that their bassist was as dexterous and fast at bass, as a stretch-armstrong being pulled by two clamps on a helicopter wing; overall, however, they struck me as a rather timid and stiff outfit, not showing much passion or difference but displaying a frail and bony set, sneaking in under the fringe of sibling 'Charlie Simpsons' fame - still at least they didn't get in the music business via a kitch pop-group and then switch genres when fame was at a high, ahem-Busted. And now it seems that they will most probably lurk under the spotlight and build a fan base which will disperse them into the major mainstream like Biff Clyro did.

'Sink, sink, swim' starts like a Taking Back Sunday song, remains like one and continues in exactly the same style as one on and on; maybe it's my chiselled ears that can't tell the difference between those bands, and other enthusiastic teens can differentiate them swiftly with a thousand reasons why, but to me it seems blindingly obvious that Brigade haven't taken a particularly interesting take on rock.

This is based on my opinion of course, although facts are still opinions of life; "There are no facts but interpretations of facts", as old Friedrich Nietzsche omce said; I would therefore interpret Brigade to sound exactly like most emo/rock bands.

After this blissful experience of other-worldly music I don't really find myself humming the tune either, maybe they'll stun us, high hopes as it doesn't look like it!

Weezer- Weezer 'The Red Album'

After Weezer became reliant on the media and celebrity status to be the base substance for their lyrics, the music started to become plain and just swayed to basic mid-tempo pop. After 'Pork and Beans' became one of the most viewed videos on youtube, the album was highly anticipated, as in the modern day getting lots of views on youtube gets you a career in the media; another smart move for Weezer, to include already youtube famous stars!

This album looks like a paintshop-made, facebook display picture to my teabag stained eyes.

What has become of Weezer since their geek-rock 'I don't give a shit, and I'll say it like a hippy' stage?

It is all rather disappointing. Now Weezer are just your average pop/rock band with tunes that modern technology could shit out in mass, the one difference being their respectable back catalogue of original albums.
Their new album titled simply 'Weezer' (or referred to as 'The Red Album'), consists of a selection of kooky sing-alongs all at a similar speed.

However, having slagged off Weezers flippant way around creating music, some of the songs on here are actually great pop songs; 'Heart Songs", for instance, is packed with treacle and various candy sounds to infuse your ears with samey ear-confectionary, and hey, even if it sounds like something you've heard before……

Why not hear it again?

Everything's a repeat of history anyway


Fucked Up - Year of the Pig ep

Wow! Hardcore, Rock, Metal or whatever, it seems, has hope!

When you look at the ep image and band you really don't expect anything, you arrive with no pre-formed opinions, and unlike most of hardcore, you can't tell what they sound like by looking at the labels on their t-shirts or haircuts.

Fucked Up are just a band of pure honesty, the image is just a bunch of lazily dressed humans with grins like a Cheshire cat, the music is honest as the north, the artwork-as honest and brutal as war, the lyrics- an honest critique on the darker more honest bad ways of life!

People who rely on a trusty haircut to direct their music taste should be scared.

The lead track, 'Year of the Pig', starts off with bluesy organ and keyboard doodling mixing up ear candy that tastes and sounds like Led Zeppelin ('Houses of the Holy' era) with some calm dingy backstreet 'New Orleans' style backing and calm ethereal female vocals slurring on top. Then joining this is a male voice with a subtly soulful feel, sounding like a wailing Tom Waits ( a cross between 'Heart of a Saturday Night' and 'Blood Money' style).

Everything about the song breaks the boundaries of Hardcore - for one it's nearly 20 minutes long! The use of horns and organs in a rock song is a subtle musical-anarchy in itself, and shows how inexpressive a lot of punk is, with its simple guitar song format.

The rest of the ep takes on a mixture of live versions of "Year of the Pig" and other songs that are a certain catalyst for a brain haemorrhage.

Certainly "The New Shape Of Punk To Come"!


Scars on Broadway- They Say

Being a huge fan of System Of A Down I felt it intriguing to find out what the other half of the band have been up to while Serj Tankien creates musical landscapes with divine sounds.

And well, it is very disappointing. In System Of A Down, Daran Malakian adds a very individual sound to the band, with his twisted Daffy Duck voice and choppy, twisted-bass-harp guitar tricks and is generally a very good musician full of character. Here, however, Daran demonstrates that he's bored with sounding different; by taking on the tone of an American who wants to act Cockney.

The guitar sounds like Jonny Ramone strumming the 3 bar chords with even and calculated up and down strokes while John Dolmayan's drumming is tight but less complex than what he does with System Of A Down.

And it is SO hard to describe a song so boring and lifeless!

We'll just have to wait and see if they have any new ideas when they release their album.


Coldplay- Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends

Once again Coldplay have created an album that might as well be tangible.

By this I mean that the sound and layers of tunes painted in Coldplay's music is so creative and defined that the sound almost flows into physical form. It could just be the fine recording of the album, afforded by the mass amounts of Coldplays' money, which has made it so vivid and luxurious, but nevertheless Coldplay have achieved great heights as their albums progress.

However, there also seems to be a correlation between Coldplay getting better and better, and Chris Martin becoming more and more of a twat…


Each song is a slice of laid back rock with extra psychedelic qualities and a brand new bubbly orchestral feel, like an orchestral arrangement being played with electronic instruments.

I imagine you've already bought this……………


Joey Eyebank