Cosmic Eggs
Richard Bull salutes Pops Returning Champions...

So, the first batch of 2010. Hmmm. What will it bring? I am not an optimist. You have been warned. Here we go…

Shy Child – Disconnected (Wall Of Sound, 2010):
First of all Brooklyn duo Shy Child arrive with an improbably polite slice if Euro-Indie-Pop. You know the kind of thing. A pounding bass to it and plinky plonky keyboards and some singing which sounds like it’s taken from a “Oh look we’re all so YOUNG and BEAUTIFUL isn’t everything FUCKING BRILLIANT in the world” convention. In fact, it’s actually really rather good. It’s kind of a bit Ting Tingsy, a bit MGMT, a bit Empire Of The Sun. No doubt it’ll be a huge hit at the festivals in the summer and then no one will ever speak of them again. Like the Ting Tings. Or MGMT. Or Empire Of the Sun. It’s a kind of dance track that you can actually enjoy without taking phenomenal amounts of recreation drugs. But it is nowhere near a Kylie or even a Sugababe. So marks off for that.

Breed77 – Zombie
(La Rocka Records, 2010)
Oh shitting Christ. When I first put this on before reading the press release I was thinking, “don’t be that Cranberries song, don’t be that Cranberries song, don’t be that Cranberries song”. So here it is, That Cranberries song re-imagined, in the loosest sense, made a bit more up to date (changing one of the dates in it to 2010) and with heavier guitars. This is justified allegedly because, well, it’s about war innit? And wars are bad. But wars are nothing compared to this turgid pointless romp through what is actually a very poignant song. Still, I bet it gets a good reception at the gigs though. Oooh, a song we know. Huzzah! Now go away and have a wash.

Ali Love – Love Harder (Back Yard Music, 2010)
Remember that endless strings of shit 90’s boy band things like Point Break and Code Red and Northern line? No, I suspected as much. Well this pile of cack is pretty much continuing where that left off. “All I wanna do is give my love to you” croons Ali “Do you love me baby, tell me true”. Genius at work here. Completely lacking in the kind of kitsch value of, say, Girls by Calvin Harris, this is more on a par with a slimy mechanic hitting the local disco emporium on a Friday night in Macclesfield with a hefty supply of Rohypnol and a roll of brown packing tape. It’s all a bit creepy if you ask me. There’s something sinister in there. Hilariously, the press release accompanying this referred to our Ali as “Pop’s returning Champion”. Feel free to insert you own punch line here.

Wolfmother – White Feather
(Modular, 2010)
Thank God then for Wolfmother. Seemingly a million years ago they came along, shook us all up with their bluesy riffing and frankly ridiculous hair before disappearing for an eternity before putting out 2nd album Cosmic Egg. So with White Feather we get kind of exactly what one would expect. A bit of Guns N Roses, a bit of Led Zep, a bit of AC/DC, a bit of Free. All in all it’s quite brilliant. Still Cosmic Egg eh? Shit name for an album.

Sachanovak - EP (2010)
Don’t be fooled by the name. This is not the work of Norwegian death metallers or of some kind of wanky philosopher the Manics would make you think you just HAVE to read. Sachanovak are a three piece from Cambridge (Hurrah!) firmly entrenched in the old school of Rock. No bad thing that. Of the tracks on here, Sweet Mistress comes across as Alice In Chains, For Amy is Use Your Illusion era G’N’R and Unload, the most upbeat number on here, is a kind of early Radiohead. It’s all hard chords and widdly solo’s yes, but that is brilliant if you ask me. In an era where most bands are too busy concentrating on what they fucking look like to bother writing the tunes anymore, Sachanovak actually come up with the goods.

Velvet – The Big Pink (4AD, 2009)
Hmmm. Now. Everything about this record means it is something I should like. Miserable? Check. Distorted gee-tars? Check. A cover that looks like a Smiths album? Check. Pounding drumming? Check. So why on Earth I find it ever so slightly, well, pedestrian is beyond me. It just kind of bobs along and never really goes anywhere. Like one great big intro that never gets to a chorus. I really should be a bit more up to date with The Big Pink really. I don’t know what it is I’m missing but something won’t let their songs stay in my head. It’s probably that fucking Dominoes song actually. That’s been in there for months since I saw them supporting Placebo. And the worst bit about that, the real bit that throws a bucket of cold piss over everything, is that I can’t fucking STAND that bloody Dominoes song. Oh well.

Aah thannnnker-yew

Richard Bull