Cease and Desist - Joey Eyebank reviews

Queens of the Stone Age: Era Vulgaris

Smashing into the charts at number 3 came the hypnotic, peculiar album of odd bods "Lullabies to Paralyze"; after two magnificent albums "Lullabies to Paralyze" was a poor attempt at "a different sound" and wasn't fashioned to the tastes of most of their loyal fans.

This gut-busting, groove orientated fourth album certainly kicks the arse of "Lullabies to Paralyze" and I dare to say all of their previous albums as well, as it has everything the band combine and have failed to use in lullabies. The heavy, down-tuned, haunting song "Sick, Sick, Sick" is a big-vibed, thrash out rock-out with a blitzing entry from a diminished sounding chord which opens the song, giving it the feel that it could almost be the soundtrack to a fast-paced action movie; with its blood throttling riff and its racer car aspect it's an almost thrilling second song. The other gems on the album are "3's and 7's", the tuneful hard rock song with that Queens of the Stone Age feel to it determined to be an instant sing along hit around the globe, and the dirty country rock song "Into the Hollow" with the classic QOTSA style shown on their earlier albums such as "songs for the deaf". This record is a true masterpiece from track 1 all the way to 11 and without this in your collection, you're bound to miss out. Ethereal distorted bluesy rock songs with that individual QOTSA edge that makes it truly bliss.


Breed 77- Un Encuentro

This band are amazing and impressive, combining their native music and tongue with heavy metal formulating it into a Mediterranean metal experience! Imagine a Spanish Flamenco group colliding with Lacuna Coil and Slipknot, the heavy meets tuneful, western meets eastern, Falsetto meets growl; the collision works so well that it could create a new genre all together- Flamenco-metal. The first track "Petroleo" begins in a traditional Spanish timing with backing flamenco guitars and acoustic light chords then suddenly pummelling into an epic amazingly pulp crushing Spanish metal song! There are so many good points on this album and they always remain there own band completely. I look to see more Spanish Metal bands in the future!



Bjork- Volta

Lets face, it Bjork may be able to create the atmosphere of the sea by using a kettle stuck in a letterbox made out of rubber, but she doesn't actually have any musical talent or the ability to make music that goes to a beat and a tune. She'd rather stick to making arty farty shit with no rhythm whatsoever - not even a beat in an obscure timing; she also has no singing ability at all, instead preferring to try and be an innovator and exemplify her lack of singing ability as she tries to make her music sound yet more weird. People who listen to this don't actually like the music, they just think it's creative and innovative and serving some arty purposes, but do the words have any proper meanings? Is it danceable? Is it even talented? Is there anything about it apart from it being unnecessarily weird that will make it a tune that people will enjoy listening to?

The answer is NO - it has none of those elements whatsoever.

The Brakes- Cease and Desist

This band are neither good nor bad they're just average.

Consequently, there's not much interesting to say about them apart from maybe "I like the way the tempo changes to give the chorus more of an impact" or "they double track the guitars which gives it a more edgy heavier style which thickens the song" but that doesn't really mean anything does it? I'm sure you don't care about the impact in the chorus or the tempo change, you just want to know whether you want to listen to it or not, or whether you'd enjoy it or want to learn it on an instrument etc.

The question in fact which is more relevant would be "Is this band good?"

The answer to that is "I don't know"; there are about a million copies of this band worldwide all with names with "The" at the start and the same tune that you hear in every radio friendly indie guitar pop song.

Another question I should also ask is "Will this band change your life?" The answer to that question is NO; you might hear it on the radio, you might say "I think I've heard this before, it's alright" and then flick over channels, but this will not change your life.

So a band that will probably be erased from my memory tomorrow. And I might even flick on the radio tomorrow and hear them and say "Oh yeah I think I've heard this before it's aright, cant remember the name though" and then flick the channel. And that will be the end for me of that short lived song I once heard and once thought was ALRIGHT!



Chris Cornell- Carry On

Chris Cornell's haunting ethereal voice is a true gem which sheds light on Soundgardens songs which could have been very predictable indeed if he didn't have such a husky inspirational way of singing. Now later on he's come to the stage which every artist comes to eventually, and he's made his solo album where he's decided to take a more slower laid back approach with a collection of folk/rock tunes full of soul and bursting with success. The album's songs to look out for include the anthem to the Bond movie "You Know My Name" with its minor feel and clichéd chorus, and the classic rock of "She'll Never be Your Man".

Overall the album is a very good listen with a variety of different styles and genres incorporated into everyone of his songs, but if you listen to it all in one go you can begin to become over-bloated with the samey American rock style he's got on every track, as it just risks becoming an unplugged Soundgarden concert, or worse, a collection of Soundgarden's worst songs.

Best in small doses.


www.chriscornell.com www.myspace.com/chriscornell

CSS- Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above

It wasn't until I read the press release that I found out that CSS are actually singing about making love to the band "Death From Above 1979".

It's a typical poppy anthem is not entirely what it is made out to be; as soon as the song starts it becomes frustratingly infectious with its steady funky pulsating bass beat and the weird Japanese sampled dance tune drifting above it, making it a new rave party all out electro-vibes dance off between a clash of two cultures. This is stupidly memorable 8/10


Sparta - Threes

There is a remarkable resemblance in the vocals displayed from Sparta's lead frontman "Jim Ward" and "James Dean Bradfield". Sparta is like an eclectic potpourri of James Dean Bradfield, Taking Back Sunday and At The Drive-In, with a pinch of dirty indie fusion topped off with a hard Garage feel. However, when listening to Sparta, you somehow feel that they may just be a copy of everything else and that their music is just a jumble of heroes and influences rather than a conviction of their own sort of style.

Christmas Fuller Project- The Philosophy of Time Travel

With a name for an album as pretentious as "The Philosophy of Time Travel" my first impressions of the "Christmas Fuller Project" weren't good. The album starts off with an enigmatic slow orchestral, heavily layered track "Captain Webb vs. The English Channel" with the nasal vocals entering with the line "I'm not afraid to die" floating into a slow moving tune with female harmonies in the background. The recording seems to be well produced and the band display good musicianship and a good sense of philosophical intelligence. But all the track names are pretentious and stupid such as "Learn How to Die", "Pop Philosophy" and "I know you're going to hurt me but I choose to love you anyway" and the songs themselves aren't that great, as they seem to drag on into nothing but heavily textured music that is very down moving, and only to the interest of few music fanatics.



Rise Against- Prayer Of The Refugee

"Rise Against" are political activists in the disguises of musicians. As well as them being anti-consumerist, left wing, intelligent, environmentally aware activists, they can also pack a bunch of punk tunes as fast, melodic and hard hitting as a Quentin Tarantino movie. Ironic isn't it that the music they play is raging against war and other struggling issues yet it's about as loud and fast as a bomb raid? But that seems to be more hard hitting and chantable and gets the message across fast and loud in their face. Rise Against have struck again.



Pull Tiger Tail- Hurricanes

Sounding like an Indie-rape of Fugazi, this band is about as boring their artwork. How shall I find a new innovative way of describing and reviewing this band without stating "They're Crap", their chorus sounds like it's been passed through many other bands and eventually been shat out into "Pull Tiger Tail".

Don't Pull The Tigers Tail - it will end up with catastrophic consequences.



Beangrowers- I Like You

Dirty garage rock that can make you groove.

It seems since bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Be Your Own Pet came along, they've given birth to their own sub genre of feminine dirty garage rock, and this is very infectious and becoming increasingly recognised around Britain from its Underground New York/Nashville Birthplace. More and more bands around Britain are adopting the grungy feminine punk style and getting recognised by the media. "I Like You" is a catchy, party anthem spiced with grungy melodies and infectious Rock 'n' Roll.



Shiny Toy Guns- You Are The One

As the music scene becomes more and more like it was in the 80's, but now what was called Electro/dance is now labelled indie disco.

But who cares about labels - if it's good, it's good isn't it? More and more it seems that record companies are just finding bands that can be labelled and sound like "today's next big thing", so that it can make them a killing.

Having ranted, I have to admit that "Shiny Toy Guns" are actually rather good. Sounding like a mixture of The Killers, Robots In Disguise, The Feeling and Gary Numan, the variation between the boy and girl singers, gives the tunes a special space age feel.


www.myspace.com/shinytoyguns www.shinytoyguns.com

Noisettes- Sister Rosetta(capture the spirit)

Imagine this - The Mighty Roars co-write a song with Macy Gray featuring her earthy vocals, and they play it at a smokey jazz club, and then halfway through the chorus the song turns into a fast melodic rock with vibes as big as an organ. Imagine that, then you'll get an idea of what to expect from "The Noisettes". The song begins with a bluesy pumping bass line similar to the one at the start of "Are you gonna be my girl?" by the Jets, then the rasping coarse female voice enters, eventually rocketing into a fast rock song with a chorus that will suck to your head like an angry leech, and wont come off for days.


J and Tat- Girl ep (Big Badger Recording Co)

Who could've guessed that a scruffy cd [Who are you calling Scruffy, Eyebank?! - Big Badgering ed] simply titled J and Tat could be so infectious? J and Tat are two 11 year old boys that have a hidden talent to make melodies which, abstract as they are, show a skill far beyond their age. Girl is a catchy pop-punk song with a bouncy, vivacious feel to it, similar to Blink 182 but not quite as whingey, and with a more laid back approach. J and Tat have a bright future ahead of them - if this is how they sound now, things could be very exciting for them as they mature.



Falloutboy- Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

It sn't ntl I hr th sng tht I rlse tht th sng nm sys "Thanks For the Memories", why wld y mss t th vwls f th nm, wht s t tryng t prv, y cnt spll prprly? s th ftr f th nglsh lngg tht w'll ll vntlly b mmblng wrds d t th fct tht w cnt sy r vwls? Nt nly tht bt ths sng ls cnssts f th sl Flltby m-pp sht nd thy hvn't srprsd s wth nw flck r mldy, thy'v bsclly r-wrttn Dnc Dnc. Why s th msc ndstry sbjctd t ths?

* I've just written this review in the style of the song

(This actually says: It isn't until I hear the song that I realise that the song name says "Thanks For the Memories", why would you miss out the vowels of the name, what is it trying to prove, you cant spell properly? Is the future of the English language that we'll all eventually be mumbling words due to the fact that we can't say aeiou? Not only that, but this song also consists of the usual Falloutboy emo-pop shite; they haven't surprised us with a single new flick or melody, they've basically just re-written Dance Dance? Why is the music buying public subjected to this?

Burn Cambridge Burn - An Anti Cambridge Compilation (R*E*P*E*A*T)

After Rosey put a comment on a Cambridge message board of how he thought the Cambridge music scene was boring, it sparked off a lot of controversies among the people of the City. So Repeat released this CD of a bunch of exciting bands from Cambridge, but ones that aren't part of the cosy, dull and worthy indie scene.

First off are the Anti-Social Burn-Outs who begin with a hard brutal punk assault, with their 3-chord quick fire songs erupting in a ball of flames. Mixing an alluring (if slightly samey) concoction of chords and deadly bass lines, their two fiery tracks jump start the album. They remind me a bit of an American sounding Sham 69 fighting with Dirk Tourette at an Exploited gig.

Next up we have the not so exiting CosyCosy, who sound a bit like a dumbed down version of "X". However they do have quite an old, 1980s tuneful sound to them, especially in their melancholy track "Seen the Light" and its sing along "sha la la" ending.

Third on the album is the Grungey, sleazy, punk of "The Hope" with their hard edge no messing attitude. The vocalist has a growly voice remarkably like Kurt Cobain and it fits brilliantly with the dirty, fast distorted backing.

Next up are my old favourites The Khe Sanh Approach with their droney industrial garage rock tunes full of lyrical genius and genuinely brilliant musicianship - the end of "Crocodile Teargas" does drag on abit though.

Lastly there's a hidden track by the Bomb factory starting with some deliberately boring old Cambridge bloke describing the attractions of Kings College before Bomb Factory launch into the brutal poem/song whose lyrics are written in the album sleeve, and then accelerating into an all out brutal breakneck Bomb Factory, like Crass cavoring with Attila the Stockbroker, and then ending abruptly.


Sum 41- Underclass Hero

The bouncy inane pop-punk band has returned with an album of surprises. Although the chord structures and hooks of the songs are basically the same as their old stuff, it seems that Sum 41 have finally matured and ditched their old stupid childish lyrics about masturbation and oversized lips, and taken a new turn including powerful lyrics such as "I wont be caught living in a dead end job, While praying to my government guns and god, Cause it's us against them, we're here to represent". Yet they don't use these meaningful poetic lyrics with style, instead carrying them with melodies that would be rather suited for songs about masturbation and oversized lips.

To sum up the whole album, it's as if the songs from their old albums have been cut out and poorly glued onto "Underclass Hero" by a four year old toddler who then sews in the new lyrics.



Deathstar Preview- Digital Retro Futurism

Gritty electro rock swollen up in digital distorted fused neon layers of paralysed disco punk that are almost hypnotic, with the pumping heavy bass verses that lead into anthemic choruses, the songs have enough tune and melody to keep you hooked. Deathstar Preview are not just your usual new wave disco-punk band as its their signature dark heavy reverbed overtones which make the songs not only ideal for the dance floor but also dark and mysterious to keep you listening to their weird and wonderful synth driven music. Ideal for anyone really who likes songs you can dance to or music that is heavy and mysterious.



Bowling for Soup- London Bridge (fergie cover)

Originally by the ex-Black Eyed Peas front women "Fergie", this funny slapstick rock take on the laughably bad chart song is a (surprisingly) heavy epic sing along, that's so cleverly adapted, it's almost as if they wrote it themselves. Even the riff is almost a mock of the song as it's deliberately terrible and out of tune, in every way this song is a Bowling for Soup style insult against "Fergie".

One for the Light hearted!


www.myspace.com/bowlingforsoup www.bowlingforsoup.com

Joey Eyebank

Trsh ths rvws n or mssg brds hr!