Steffan Bones reviews some people who wish they were in the music biz

Van Tramp: Help Me Make It

'Help Me Make It' is a slow acoustic ballad that reminds you of James Blunt. It has bland vocals accompanied by a repetitive guitar line, a slow predictable bass, and nothing at all of interest except the colourful album cover. Apparently they performed on GMTV but who watches that anyway? After visiting their myspace and listening to their other tracks they redeemed themselves. It's just a shame they chose "help me make it" as their single. They could easily become the next big thing on the indie scene. Somehow they seem to have become famous without anybody noticing, with appearances on radio 2 and one of their songs in the top 5. How did this happen…?


Robots in Disguise: We're in the Music Biz

Probably most famous for their appearances in the Mighty Boosh, Robots in Disguise unleash their third album, 'We're in the Music Biz', in an explosion of hair dye, drum machines and a mess of synthesised perfection. Each song is individual and stands out with Dee Plume strumming away on guitar and vocals and Sue Denim with strong bass lines and vocals. The guitar is often synthesised and none of the guitar parts go to waste in creating their unique sounds.

Robots in Disguise remind me of nothing I've heard before. You could probably find other bands that are similar but none could match up to Robots in Disguise. The song that sums them up is the powerful track 'Animals'- with its distorted guitar riffs and consistent bass line it can't be more fun to listen to.


My Girls: Shame

Music is always changing. This is a serious problem if it has turned into My Girls. They are one of those predictable girl "bands" that everyone loves. A group of predictably crap songs in a CD case. They seem to be particularly proud that someone called "Tha Vill" is on their album but as no one knows who "Tha Vill" is, nobody actually cares. They are a group of people that were manufactured by some greedy producer in an attempt to make the next Spice Girls. When you listen to it, it's like walking into a dark cave that has a boring, rather tame, un-talented monster lurking in it. The most upsetting part of this is that they will probably be rich and famous by next year…


BC Camplight: Suffer For Two

Taken from the album 'Blink of a Nihilist', 'Suffer for Two' is possibly the weirdest thing in music since Björk. BC Camplight sounds like Madness have crashed head on with The Beach Boys, and have Rolf Harris to play the washboard in the background. This surreal sound isn't actually as bad as it sounds, and it's good music to listen to if you are feeling unhappy.

'Suffer for Two' was apparently written by Brian Christinzio after a period of mental illness, which led him to interview inmates from prisons and asylums in America, to collect stories and information about their lives. It combines catchy pop tunes with a surreal aspect. One of the key instruments is the keyboard, which is heard mainly in the chorus, and adds a jazzy feel to the music. In the end this quirky song is a masterpiece and a tribute to current music.


Personal Space Invaders: What You Want

Track 1 'Pictures in Black and White' opens with a fast-paced dance beat and instantly attracts your attention. With one of the most catchy chorus line ever (listen to it to find out), and a guitar line so strong it could be a wrestler. In the end the pounding drum beat brings everything together in a whirl of indie-dance-pop-rock (yes, I just invented it).

'Songs for Rebels' takes on a very different approach which sounds much like Bloc Party. It loses the speed of track 1 and leaves a more subtle approach in its place. The contrast is only just noticeable but the combination is perfect. The entire thing sounds like The Killers doing a Klaxons cover album. It sounds just like every other band right now, but with a punchiness that gives it an edge.


Steffan Bones


Help us make it on our message boards here