GEOFFREY OICOTT -
No 1 HITS A TRIBUTE TO GEOFFREY OICOTT
The sun was high above the Gabba and the cream of
English cricket - W G Grace, Botham, Edrich, Jardine, Compton, Hammond
and Cowdrey were all back in the pavilion with still another
93 runs required to stave off inevitable defeat at the hands of the
arch enemy, the Australians. The baying crowd of petty criminal and
sheep rustlers prepared to celebrate the impending return of the Ashes
Down Under, when the dressing room door smashed open and the last remaining
English batsman emerged into the sunlight. Cometh the hour, cometh the
man .and that man was GEOFFREY OICOTT.
He strode toward the crease and surveyed the phalanx
of impending antipodean bowlers waiting to inflict grievous bodily harm
on this last remnant of the Colonial motherland. Lillee, Thompson, McGrath
and Warner smiled menacingly as Oicott took his guard, knowing that
soon their work would be done. The slip cordon of Ponting, Chappell,
Benaud, Waugh and Ned Kelly sledged him unmercifully, calling into question
his parentage and fashion sense.
But nothing was to put off this Yorkshire behemoth.
In the number of overs it took to record his new Street Punk/Oi album
normal service had been restored and the land of Skippy and Rolf Harris
had retreated to lick their wounds.
1st Over Pictures of Lillee ..8
The track starts in a similar vein to Infa Riots Still Out of
Order, but goes on to eulogise terrace heroes of English cricket,
Bob Willis, Derek Randall, Peter Willey and Graham Dilley. However,
Im not sure if well known toff Derek Pringle would have had his
name chanted that often on the Kirkstall Lane end. A confident way to
ease yourself into a match winning innings with a three to fine leg,
a single and a four back over Dennis Lillees head.
2nd Over I Was Montys Double 9
Thudding bass by Gary Rarely Sobers starts their homage to England spinner
Monty Panesar (and not the WW2 desert-rat hero). Having been present
when his heroics, along with Jimmy Anderson, saved the first 2009 Ashes
test, I can attest to the validity of the lyrics Out of the Ashes
he suddenly appeared, the Sikh of tweak, the beard to be feared.
A song the Cockney Rejects would have been happy to have written and
containing a classic Oi style chorus of Monty, give us a wave.
A majestic square cut of a track that results in a single and two successive
boundaries off Merv Hughes.
3rd Over (Cricket) Bat out of Hell ..6
Thankfully not a cover of a Meatloaf song, but an Oi fairy story of
the Devil himself visiting Yorkshire and being batted back to hell.
Rather an unusual theme for a punk song and I am not absolutely certain
that it works on all levels. But still, another rabble rousing anthem
to keep in their locker. A respectful look at Shane Warne as Oicott
beds in his innings, 4 singles and a two to fine leg.
4th Over War of the Roses . .7
Oicott is into his stride and recalls Christmas 1979 and over indulgence
on Cadburys Roses all set to a pounding back beat and ferocious drumming
by Steve Self Harmison. A moralistic tale that counsels against over
indulgence and the resultant Eat em all and make yourself
sick. Dilshan scoop off McGrath for four and a dropped catch at
1st slip allows a three down to third man.
5th Over Bar on the Terraces .10
12th man Mickey Geggus runs on to mop Oicotts fevered brow and
relay team orders. A cracker of a song that sounds somewhat familiar
but none the less destined to be a live classic for the lads. This is
Oi at its finest and lets vocalist Freddie Skintoff vents his anger
at the lack of alcoholic refuelling stations at most cricket grounds.
Two imperious straight drives by Oicott that dispatches Brett Lee for
a boundary and into the car park for a six.
6th Over Glory, Glory, Garry Thompson .7
Bloody Norah this isnt about cricket, but darts!?! Queue Jim Bowen
impression and Bullseye-style voice to reassure that the track is Great,
Smashing, Super. Using the Clashs Tommy Gun
drums intro and rather heavy-metal guitars from Devon Malcolm McLaren
they start off their tribute to Yorkshire darting legend Garry Thompson.
Perhaps not up to the quality of their first albums track Darts
Players Wives (so no double entendres like three in a bed
at the Lakeside), however it contains a hands-above-the-head hand-clapping
middle section which will obviously go down well when they headline
Glastonbury. Used as the official walk on music for Thompson at the
BDO World Championships and despite it he still progressed through to
the Quarter Finals! An all run 4 and three singles off Jeff Thomson
7th Over No 1 Hits 7
Ramones thrash guitars set the background for a bit of bragging by the
Oicott and caustic put-downs of the opposition. Eh up Mr Bowler
is that all youve got, cos no one hits like Geoffrey Oicott.
Even contains a guitar solo in the middle. A reverse sweep for 4 and
a mis-fielded three to long off from Benauds bowling.
8th Over Night watchman 8
For the uninitiated a night watchman is the hapless team member (usually
a bowler) who comes on late in the day to protect more competent batsmen.
A thankless task and invariably they neither stay long at the crease
nor score many runs. Shoutable Oi chorus Will you put up a struggle,
will you put up a fight, will you be there be tomorrow, will you last
overnight? Probably not if they bat like Phil Tufnel! Two consecutive
fours from poor Craig McDermott over.
9th Over Kestrel for a Knave ..7
I have a feeling this song is about mens other two interests (after
cricket obviously) porn and booze- as it is introduced with This
one is for men only. Im not really sure what they are on
about when they sing about 5 finger shuffle, middle stump, love
slave so perhaps you can e-mail your ideas to Rosey @ R*E*P*E*A*T.
Jason Gillespie haemorrhages a single and three twos on unresponsive
10th Over The Umpire Strikes Back ..8
Unsurprisingly nothing to do with Star Wars. The momentum of their songs
seems to increase as the album progresses. This would do justice to
Discharge at their finest. 100 mph and just about time to shout The
Umpire Strikes Back before the next verse is upon us. Worried
looks on the Aussies faces as Oicott takes two boundaries off Terry
11th Over Beefy Flaps 7
Victory in sight and the frenetic speed of the tracks continues. Despite
its rather dubious title I think this is in praise of England legend
Sir Ian Beefy Botham, although I could be wrong!?! Prolonged
guitar solo in the middle had me worried they had gone all Iron Maiden,
but thankfully normal service is resumed as the number careers to its
conclusion. A no ball four and a single off Ray Lindwall.
12th Over GBH 9
As night draws in and the Aussie crowd see the inevitable writing on
the wall, Oicott sends them on their way in the only way he knows how
Youre going home with your f*cking helmet on. Pugilistic
final track that deviates not an iota from the rest of the album e.g.
loud, proud and punk. Im not sure this CD would be ever played
at Lords, but Im sure it would go down a storm with the Barmy
Army. Three singles off Keith Miller and a mighty six over the pavilion
to win the game.
In truth Geoffrey Oicott cant have too many competitors in the
cricket/Oi area of punk. However that doesnt detract from the
quality and the sheer ferocity of their songs. Whilst a knowledge of
cricket helps with the in jokes, it is by no means compulsory
and the album stands on its own merit. Builds on the progress of their
debit album The Good, The Bad and the Googly, and with England
officially now the No 1 cricket team in the World (no joke!), I wouldnt
expect them to be declaring for a long while yet. GEOFFREY OICOTT -
definitely a Yorkshire Ripper of a band, rather than a bunch of Yorkshire