Dumbass Nation- an Open (Hate) Letter to America
By Phil Rose esq

Western Washington University Halls of residence, Nov 2nd 2004.
Pic Phil Rose esq

And I know what comes next for the Democrats. The hand wringing and the focus groups. ‘How do we reach out to America?’ ‘How can we meet them where they are and talk to their values?’ Well, I’m afraid that to my mind that’s a losing game. In the end we have to admit that the American public is dumb as a stump. Ignorant, selfish, base and short sighted they move from semi coherent thought to semi coherent thought. Like a battered wife they have come back for more. I know it’s a cliché to say that the media set them up to it, to voting for a man who has record deficits, lost more jobs than he created, lost 380 tons of explosives, killed between 15,000 and 100,000, lied, deceived, gutted our…oh you know all this. I know it’s a cliché but clichés are based in truth.
Listening to Kerry’s concession speech made me want to vomit. ‘In this election there were no losers for in the morning we all wake up as Americans’. Well fuck you JFK. That’s just peachy. The rest of the world (in the shape of me) has just about had enough of being told how the best people in the world, the most free, the most advanced, the most witty and rebellious and cool are the Americans. It’s a big fat fucking lie. Americans are clods. Two centuries of the propaganda of self determination in the wild west have led to the bizarre concept that driving an SUV and voting for a spoiled frat boy smirking chimp with all the money that daddy gave him in some way makes you a rebel. Quite brilliant, to repackage the reactionary as the rebellious. ‘I’m a hard drinkin’, truck drivin’, ass kickin’ man and ah voted for George W’. If only the left could pull off a scam like that. Americans don’t travel. 84% don’t own a passport. Americans think there is no global warming. Americans think that three cells in a woman’s womb is a darlink ‘ickle babby with 50,000 times more rights than some Iraqi cloth head used as target practice.
There has to come a point when people like Michael Moore and the left in my town stop repeating ad nauseum, ‘well, this is terrible, the things this country does are terrible but America is still the greatest democracy and the greatest country in the world’ and come to realise that this is a fetid shit hole full of brains terminally deformed by Fox News and flags at school at church at the post office at the fucking bus stop. America may have been great once. When was that? Um, maybe in the 1940s, after the slaughter of twenty million indigenous people, the slave trade and the tearing up of the tram tracks by the oil and car companies and before McCarthy, Vietnam and a thousand other interventions and fascist propping scum initiatives, the SUV, Friends on TV, anti abortion laws, the moral majority and on and on and on.
There comes a time when those with relatively clear minds must shrug off those last tugs of the flag, sit back and just admit, this country is really not any good. It’s not the greatest country in the world but with problems. It’s a backward, greedy, destructive entity. Stop telling me that I should couch my criticism in terms that won’t offend or alienate the lumpen mass. I refuse to pretend to be more Bushy than Bush in order to scavenge a few Bushy votes. Kerry tried that and look where it got him. This land is NOT my land. It is NOT your land. It is the land of the rich minority, the corporations, Rush Limbaugh and so on. What is left of what once was a beautiful land mass is not merely hijacked, it is now owned by the elite with the approval of the masses and that situation is so long established that it can no longer be written off as an aberration. The US citizen is intrinsically greedy and short sighted. As long as they have their sugar frosting and their Lincoln Cat-Crusher they are happy to drive past the writing on the wall at speeds that allow no time for reading.
Please do not write me off as angry and ‘hurting’. This feeling is a long time coming. I will not write about exceptions, will not tell you that I am speaking of some-but-not-all. Work it out for yourself. The worst of all is to be told by the nation that bombs, ridicules, demeans, ignores and rapes the rest of the world, that acts like spoiled children and then shouts that ‘I’m the best, I’m the best’, that I’m being ‘culturally insensitive’. Well, ahh diddums, America. You can’t be a bully and a sensitive flower at the same time. You have lost the right to furrow your brows in a pained expression at me for all time. Go clean up your mess.
Phil Rose esq
PS So what’s the answer to the American Question? Well, Americans can’t be trusted with the vote. America’s actions affect the entire world, more in many cases than do the actions of other nation’s own governments. Here’s the solution. The entire world gets to vote at the American presidential elections. Each non American gets half a vote. That way Americans can feel twice as empowered as the rest of us (so they won’t feel like too much has changed) and the rest of the world can get a look in. That or invasion and regime change. We could do like the US does but in reverse. Put in our own guybut that guy would be Nader. The EU could then fund the eco-Contras. Keep the majority suppressed in the name of freedom™ and sustainability.