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Hannah's Reading Awards 2003
Several people told me to write
reviews of all the bands I saw at Reading and I stupidly agreed. Quickly
realising that as I was planning on seeing on average seven or eight
bands a day, most of which I knew next to nothing about, this was asking
a bit much, I ditched the review thing and came up with this: the Reading
Awards. Read on...
Best New Band
Stellastarr*
The new Dawn Parade! Sparkly glam beautiful rock'n'roll played with
humour and energy, a great start to Saturday and deserving of better
than second band on the Radio 1 Stage
Best Boyband
Good Charlotte
Tattoos and guitars do not make you punk
Most Disappointing Performance
Hundred Reasons
Great last year, now tuneless and tedious and loved by fat ugly blokes
whose idea of a good time is to crush people to death while stamping
on their feet and shouting drunkenly in their ears
Best Led Zeppelin Impersonation
My Morning Jacket
Cool dreamy floaty rock that makes you want to be sitting in a field
in summer smoking something interesting, unfortunately I only managed
the first two categories
The Garage Rock Isn't All Shit Award
The Blueskins
Energetic bluesy garage rock that makes you want to dance, The Blueskins
sound like the band The Strokes would be if they had any talent and
listened to some real music instead of just crap Ramones songs
The Babylon Zoo Award For One-Hit Wonders
Alien Ant Farm
Their one good song was stolen from Michael Jackson. Enough said.
Most Beautiful Acoustic Set In The History Of The
World
Staind
Staind also receive a special mention for effortlessly pissing off a
field full of metal fans
The Gary Numan Award for Synthesiser Use
The Cooper Temple Clause
How To Plug The New Album 101
Placebo
Seem to have forgotten their first two albums exist
The Axl Rose Award For Not Giving A Shit
Courtney Love
She had 'recording obligations' apparently
The Johnny Rotten Award For Mixing Music With Politics
And Generally Being Earthshatteringly Brilliant
Kinesis
The Token Female Musicians Award
The Applicators
The Cheese Strings Award For Beautiful Inspired Corniness
The Polyphonic Spree
Forget that shitty Glasto performance and go and see them live RIGHT
FUCKING NOW.
Band Most Deserving Of Being Annihilated In A Freak
Earthquake, Preferably Taking All Their Fans With Them
Blink 182
Don't even get me started...
The Holy Bible Award For The Most Obsessive Fanbase
AFI
The Six Feet Under Award For Making Joe Strummer
Spin In His Grave
Sum 41
See Good Charlotte, above
Best Beautiful Shimmery Dancey Summery Perfect Festival
Sunday Afternoon Rock'n'Roll Happiness Music
Primal Scream
Most Supposedly Intelligent And Political
System Of A Down
Apparently they're really clever and want to educate their fans about
globalisation and world injustice. Some mention of anything vaguely
connected with politics would have been nice then, but instead we got
some asinine comments about how much British people drink.
The Spinal Tap Cheesy 80's Leather-Trousered Metal
Award For Being The Band That All The Other Bands At The Festival Want
To Be When They Grow Up
Metallica
They don't just set off pyros, they do FIREWORKS. And TWO encores. Napster?
Who gives a fuck?
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