GEOFFREY OICOTT -
“No 1 HITS – A TRIBUTE TO GEOFFREY OICOTT”

The sun was high above the Gabba and the cream of English cricket - W G Grace, Botham, Edrich, Jardine, Compton, Hammond and Cowdrey – were all back in the pavilion with still another 93 runs required to stave off inevitable defeat at the hands of the arch enemy, the Australians. The baying crowd of petty criminal and sheep rustlers prepared to celebrate the impending return of the Ashes Down Under, when the dressing room door smashed open and the last remaining English batsman emerged into the sunlight. Cometh the hour, cometh the man….and that man was GEOFFREY OICOTT.

He strode toward the crease and surveyed the phalanx of impending antipodean bowlers waiting to inflict grievous bodily harm on this last remnant of the Colonial motherland. Lillee, Thompson, McGrath and Warner smiled menacingly as Oicott took his guard, knowing that soon their work would be done. The slip cordon of Ponting, Chappell, Benaud, Waugh and Ned Kelly sledged him unmercifully, calling into question his parentage and fashion sense.

But nothing was to put off this Yorkshire behemoth. In the number of overs it took to record his new Street Punk/Oi album normal service had been restored and the land of Skippy and Rolf Harris had retreated to lick their wounds.

1st Over – Pictures of Lillee…………………………………..8
The track starts in a similar vein to Infa Riots “Still Out of Order”, but goes on to eulogise terrace heroes of English cricket, Bob Willis, Derek Randall, Peter Willey and Graham Dilley. However, I’m not sure if well known toff Derek Pringle would have had his name chanted that often on the Kirkstall Lane end. A confident way to ease yourself into a match winning innings with a three to fine leg, a single and a four back over Dennis Lillee’s head.

 

2nd Over – I Was Monty’s Double……………………………9
Thudding bass by Gary Rarely Sobers starts their homage to England spinner Monty Panesar (and not the WW2 desert-rat hero). Having been present when his heroics, along with Jimmy Anderson, saved the first 2009 Ashes test, I can attest to the validity of the lyrics “Out of the Ashes he suddenly appeared, the Sikh of tweak, the beard to be feared”. A song the Cockney Rejects would have been happy to have written and containing a classic Oi style chorus of “Monty, give us a wave”. A majestic square cut of a track that results in a single and two successive boundaries off Merv Hughes.

 

3rd Over – (Cricket) Bat out of Hell …………………………..6
Thankfully not a cover of a Meatloaf song, but an Oi fairy story of the Devil himself visiting Yorkshire and being batted back to hell. Rather an unusual theme for a punk song and I am not absolutely certain that it works on all levels. But still, another rabble rousing anthem to keep in their locker. A respectful look at Shane Warne as Oicott beds in his innings, 4 singles and a two to fine leg.


4th Over – War of the Roses……………….…………………….7
Oicott is into his stride and recalls Christmas 1979 and over indulgence on Cadburys Roses all set to a pounding back beat and ferocious drumming by Steve Self Harmison. A moralistic tale that counsels against over indulgence and the resultant “Eat ‘em all and make yourself sick”. Dilshan scoop off McGrath for four and a dropped catch at 1st slip allows a three down to third man.

5th Over – Bar on the Terraces………………………………….10
12th man Mickey Geggus runs on to mop Oicott’s fevered brow and relay team orders. A cracker of a song that sounds somewhat familiar but none the less destined to be a live classic for the lads. This is Oi at its finest and lets vocalist Freddie Skintoff vents his anger at the lack of alcoholic refuelling stations at most cricket grounds. Two imperious straight drives by Oicott that dispatches Brett Lee for a boundary and into the car park for a six.

6th Over – Glory, Glory, Garry Thompson……………………….7
Bloody Norah this isn’t about cricket, but darts!?! Queue Jim Bowen impression and Bullseye-style voice to reassure that the track is “Great, Smashing, Super”. Using the Clash’s “Tommy Gun” drums intro and rather heavy-metal guitars from Devon Malcolm McLaren they start off their tribute to Yorkshire darting legend Garry Thompson. Perhaps not up to the quality of their first albums track “Darts Players Wives” (so no double entendres like “three in a bed at the Lakeside”), however it contains a hands-above-the-head hand-clapping middle section which will obviously go down well when they headline Glastonbury. Used as the official walk on music for Thompson at the BDO World Championships and despite it he still progressed through to the Quarter Finals! An all run 4 and three singles off Jeff Thomson (no relation).

 

 

7th Over – No 1 Hits …………………………………………………7
Ramones thrash guitars set the background for a bit of bragging by the Oicott and caustic put-downs of the opposition. “Eh up Mr Bowler is that all you’ve got, cos no one hits like Geoffrey Oicott”. Even contains a guitar solo in the middle. A reverse sweep for 4 and a mis-fielded three to long off from Benaud’s bowling.

8th Over – Night watchman…………………………………………8
For the uninitiated a night watchman is the hapless team member (usually a bowler) who comes on late in the day to protect more competent batsmen. A thankless task and invariably they neither stay long at the crease nor score many runs. Shoutable Oi chorus “Will you put up a struggle, will you put up a fight, will you be there be tomorrow, will you last overnight?” Probably not if they bat like Phil Tufnel! Two consecutive fours from poor Craig McDermott over.

9th Over – Kestrel for a Knave……………………………………..7
I have a feeling this song is about men’s other two interests (after cricket obviously) –porn and booze- as it is introduced with “This one is for men only”. I’m not really sure what they are on about when they sing about “5 finger shuffle, middle stump, love slave” so perhaps you can e-mail your ideas to Rosey @ R*E*P*E*A*T. Jason Gillespie haemorrhages a single and three two’s on unresponsive pitch.

10th Over – The Umpire Strikes Back …………………………..8
Unsurprisingly nothing to do with Star Wars. The momentum of their songs seems to increase as the album progresses. This would do justice to Discharge at their finest. 100 mph and just about time to shout “The Umpire Strikes Back” before the next verse is upon us. Worried looks on the Aussies faces as Oicott takes two boundaries off Terry Alderman.

11th Over – Beefy Flaps……………………………………………7
Victory in sight and the frenetic speed of the tracks continues. Despite its rather dubious title I think this is in praise of England legend Sir Ian “Beefy” Botham, although I could be wrong!?! Prolonged guitar solo in the middle had me worried they had gone all Iron Maiden, but thankfully normal service is resumed as the number careers to its conclusion. A no ball four and a single off Ray Lindwall.

12th Over – GBH ……………………………………………………9
As night draws in and the Aussie crowd see the inevitable writing on the wall, Oicott sends them on their way in the only way he knows how… “You’re going home with your f*cking helmet on”. Pugilistic final track that deviates not an iota from the rest of the album e.g. loud, proud and punk. I’m not sure this CD would be ever played at Lords, but I’m sure it would go down a storm with the Barmy Army. Three singles off Keith Miller and a mighty six over the pavilion to win the game.

In truth Geoffrey Oicott can’t have too many competitors in the cricket/Oi area of punk. However that doesn’t detract from the quality and the sheer ferocity of their songs. Whilst a knowledge of cricket helps with the “in” jokes, it is by no means compulsory and the album stands on its own merit. Builds on the progress of their debit album “The Good, The Bad and the Googly”, and with England officially now the No 1 cricket team in the World (no joke!), I wouldn’t expect them to be declaring for a long while yet. GEOFFREY OICOTT - definitely a Yorkshire Ripper of a band, rather than a bunch of Yorkshire Puddings!!

Bones

http://www.myspace.com/geoffreyoicott
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