GEOFFREY OICOTT The Good, the Bad and the
20.08.2008 17.49 - WICKET - Hussey c Cook b Swann 121 - ENGLAND REGAIN
Now I know to many of you the above will be undecipherable, but to
aficionados of the game that is the epitome of good sportsmanship and
fair conduct, these words take on a mystical quality. For this was the
moment that our Glorious Boys sent those Aussie upstarts
packing, with their tail firmly between their legs, and took back what
was rightfully ours
.the cricket Ashes!!!
Now this may not seem to have too much relevance to music in general,
and punk in particular, but fear not because I give you (in their own
words) The filthiest Northern monkeys ever to cross the Watford gap
For those of you still bemused, I should explain that the band take
their name from Geoffrey Boycott the former England and Yorkshire cricketer
and it goes without saying that the band also takes pride in hailing
from the same county. However all joking aside they have produced here
a gem of an album that mixes the delights of cricket with a hardcore
oi/street punk sound. So dont be put off by the subject matter,
this is as good a punk CD that has been released all year. So in the
truest spirit of Test Match Special I bring you the end of album report:
1. Dawn of the Dickie Birds................
The opening track sets the benchmark for the album. The more sporting
minded of you will notice that this is the first of many tracks that
contain certain double entendres, as not only is this a
tale of a certain lady of loose morals, but Dickie Bird was also the
name of a cantankerous old git of a cricket umpire. But this information
is all incidental to enjoying a good rebel rousing punk song, in which
the afore mentioned lady shows you her pavilion. Oo-er missus!
A cracking opener of a song.
Things continue in the same vain with a crashing guitar driven intro
that is very reminiscent of the Cocksparrer in their pomp. This is the
cautionary tale of the fair sex wanting to be taken out but being advised,
firmly but fairly, that tonights been designated a Boys
Night Out. I like the style of lead singer Freddie Skintoff in
that he has a vocal range somewhere between shouting and bellowing.
But hey, were not talking X-Factor here, this is top quality punk
rock, so deal with it!
3. Darts Player's Wives
Just to show that theyre not a one trick pony, their next sporting
composition revolves around Darts Players Wives. The tune
fair rattles along under the pneumatic drumming of sticks man Mike Spatting.
Not only that, but they name check all your favourite darting heroes,
although Im not sure their comment that Mrs Hanky does enjoy
three in a bed at the Lakeside wont see them end up in court.
b Titmus (Fred)
Back to the oblique cricket references for track four with Bouncers.
Whilst we all know of the gorillas in dinner suits that guard the doors
of most nightclubs, it should also be noted that a bouncer
is a cricket delivery that is aimed at intimidating/hurting the batsmen.
So you can see what they mean when say that bouncers want to do
your harm, bouncers want to break your arm. But looking at pictures
of the Oicotts I wish any security good luck because were talking
prime Yorkshire puddings here.
5. Scunnie Hunney
Plowright (Joan)..b Botham
A romantic song telling the salutary story of our hero losing his virginity
to a young lady from Scunthorpe only to find that ultimately she insults
him in the most hurtful way possible by leaving him for a man from Lancashire.
With lyrics like you broke my bat in, you took my bails off
I am sure a cover version by Westlife will not be far off.
This is the only song that falls into the corridor of uncertainty
for me. Manic guitars and drum make it sound a little like Discharge
with Yorkshire accents. Still Im sure it sounds good live.
7. Welcome to Yorkshire
Now I know the War of the Roses finished over 500 years ago, but with
lyrics like Manchesters weathers crap, Scousers will steal
your hub caps I think they are single-handedly trying to restart
the conflict. I think its safe to say that the Oicotts are proud
to come from the white rose side of the divide and proudly boast Welcome
to Yorkshire where we drink the most! Well, I think the boys from
the Mersey, or the Thames or the Tyne (or Taff) may have something to
say about that, but I like their nod to the Rakes with the final chorus
of Work, Drink, Sleep, Repeat.
8. Dot Ball
Not an ode to the Eastenders wind bag, but something I am only too acquainted
with having watched Glamorgan for several years
a batsmen that
gets out without scoring. Theres a nice guitar solo mid song by
Devon Malcolm McClaren that is book-ended by a chorus just made to be
sung at the Oval/Lords/Trent Bridge etc the next time England suffer
their inevitable middle order collapse
Dot Ball out for a
duck, Dot Ball you useless f*ck!. Im sure Brian Johnson
would have approved.
9. Geoff Big Bat
Most people are unaware that British punk effectively started with just
7 words - Is she really going out with him?- that introduced
New Rose by the Damned. Well, the Oicotts seem to have their own take
on memorable introductions at this next number starts tastefully Eee
this next ones a reet Yorkshire Ripper. Thankfully it the
song actually turns out to be a eulogy to lethargy, and the fact that
given half a chance most blokes will sit around doing nothing (ask my
wife). A shoutable chorus roared over Steve Jones type guitar licks
makes this another killer Oi track.
10. Get Padded Up Mate
For some reason this reminds me of Infa Riot. However in truth I have
little idea what this song is about, but it sticks to their tried and
tested formula of short but sweet powerful punk rock.
11. O! Oi! Oi!....................................................c Geggus
.b Geggus (M)
My heart leapt when I first heard this. As soon as W.C. Disgraces bass
lick came hurtling out of the speakers I knew they had covered one of
the classic Oi songs of all time. Indeed it is this number by the Cockney
Rejects that gave the whole genre its name. What can I say? The Oicotts
have metaphorically left their crease and hit a six back over the bowlers
head. A truly great song that they have more than done justice to, although
I dont seem to remember Stinky Turner ending the original by saying
12. Geoffrey OiCotts Pyjami Army
Right were into the tail end here. Their final slice of mayhem
uses a riff not seen since Bodies by the Pistols to relate their love
of the bands namesake Geoffrey Boycott. It was often said that a century
was not the number of runs this redoubtable Yorkshire batsman would
score in a day, but the average length of time of his innings. Well
this little number moves at a slightly faster pace and gives them the
opportunity to bring the innings to a conclusion with a rousing sing-along
chorus of Geoffrey Oicott Pygami Army before bad light brings
a premature ending to the days play.
Just to show they have true punk ethics the band have also released
a single that is not on the album called . I was Montys
Double. This is not about the Desert Rats of El Alanein, but a
fast paced ditty in praise of the rather slower left arm England Spinner,
Monty Panesar. For those of you unaware of this giant of the modern
game he is a real fan favourite partly due to his history of being less
than adept at fielding. Complete with a chorus of Monty, Monty,
give us a wave this is the perfect companion to the Oicotts debut
Ok so I think its plain that the band dont take themselves too
seriously, however this does not detract from the fact that they are
a bloody good punk band who have an obvious love for all things cricket
and Yorkshire. Take my recommendation that you could do a lot worse
than check out their releases and live gigs. All the information youve
ever wanted is included on their myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/geoffreyoicott)
including details of getting the album/single and their upcoming live